


Lams Prompts

by zip_kicks



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Carnival, Depression, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Self-Harm, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-13 23:34:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7142915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zip_kicks/pseuds/zip_kicks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short stories and oneshots from a Tumblr Prompt List. Done in batches of 2 or more.</p><p>Current progress: 8/50</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Prompt 1: Are you Drunk?  
John sat in the kitchen in Alex's and his tiny apartment, tears soaking the sleeves of his t shirt. His mind was foggy, but it was a welcomed change from the feeling of numbness he felt an hour ago. He lifted the bottle back to his lips and took another swig, feeling the vodka burn his throat as it dropped into his stomach. He winced at the pain, but at the same time, welcomed it. He hated his father. That abusive asshole always had a way of ruining perfect days. Alex planned out the perfect date, complete with going to Central Park to watch the turtles in the pond while they had a romantic dinner. When they had gotten back to the apartment, John and Alex had retired early, opting to watch a turtle documentary instead of having sex. That's when John got the text from Henry Laurens.  
When Alex had finally gone to bed, John snuck out and grabbed the vodka he had stolen from his father long before he had gone to college. Even though John was not yet 21 and never planned on drinking it, doing it more as an act of defiance than anything, he decided that if there was any night for him to down the entire bottle, this was the night to do it. He had finished a little over a quarter of the bottle when the light suddenly came on. John squinted at the light, looking to the switch to see who would do such an awful thing as turn the light on. His stomach churned when he saw who it was.  
"John?" Alex asked blurry eyed. John froze, he knew he was about to get an earful. He looked at Alex. Alex squinted in response. "Are you drunk?" John tried to open his mouth to say something, but promptly closed it and held his stomach. He stood up quickly and made a beeline for the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before expelling the entire contents of his stomach, consisting of 75% alcohol and 25% the dinner Alex made for him. He felt Alex come up behind him and hold his curly hair back, rubbing soothing circles into his back. When he finally finished, he breathed deeply, trying to catch his breath. Alex handed him the mouthwash and a towel to wipe his mouth with. John swigged mouth wash, Alex watching him with concern etched into his face. He spit the mouthwash into the toilet, flushed it, and wiped his nose and mouth clean. leaned his head against Alex's shoulder, Alex wrapped a comforting arm around him,  
"I hate my father." He said, tears burning his eyes. Alex held him close, kissing the top of his head.  
"I know you do." 

 

Prompt 2: You're much too young to hate the world  
Washington heard banging and yelling upstairs. He bolted up the stairs, dropping the book he was reading onto the seat next to him on the couch. He ran into Alex's room. "Alex! What's wrong?" He exclaimed, causing Alex to whip around. He had swept his hands across his desk in frustration, causing all the books, papers, pens, everything to fall to the floor. His hair, normally pulled into a slick bun, was sticking out in every way possible, making him look slightly like a peacock. George choked back his laughter, went over to Alex, and kneeled in front of him.  
"Want to tell me what that was about son?" He asked, placing his hand on Alexander's shoulders. Alex looked away, unable to hold George's gaze. George could tell the boy was embarrassed by his outbreak, his cheeks flushing a slight pink. "Not really, no." Alex said, pouting slightly, crossing his arms across his stomach, as if to make him smaller. George sighed. "It's not like you to act like this Alexander." Alex flinched slightly at the use of his full name. After a second of continuing to pout, he sighed. "I couldn't figure out this problem and I got overwhelmed and annoyed. And I tried texting John but he won't answer me and I just got frustrated and--" He started getting angry again, grabbing at his hair. "I hate the world. I hate this stupid class and I hate that I can't seem to grasp such a simple concept and I just hate everything." He closed his eyes and started breathing deeply. Once he had calmed down, he mumbled a, "sorry..." and knelt down to begin picking up the scattered contents of his desk. "You're much too young to hate the world..." George thought. He gave Alex a small smile and helped him pick up and organize everything accordingly.  
"Would you mind if I called John and invited him over to dinner?" He asked, watching the boys face carefully. He could tell the boy had been stressed lately, with finals and trying to stay at the top of his class. "I'll ask Martha to make your favorite, spicy rum dumplings. And if you want, I can help you with that problem." He offered politely. He watched the boys face, though exhausted, light up like a lightning bug. He held his arms open, and Alex wrapped his arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. "Thank you George." He said sincerely, and George felt a wide grin pass over his face. "You're more than welcome Alexander."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Implied cutting and depression in prompt 4. Stay safe friends.

Prompt 3: I don’t want your pity, I want your absence 

Alex knew that the presentation for his Advanced Biology class was not going to go well. He just didn’t know it was going to be that bad. On his way back to his seat, after almost panicking in front of his class of 30-some-odd people, and having to pause and stutter his way through the presentation, he tripped on the cord that was being used to connect the computer to the smart board, causing both the computer and the board to black out and make it impossible for anyone else to do their presentations until a tech guy could come fix it. That's what sent him running to the bathroom, tears in his eyes. He closed the door to the bathroom stall and sat on the toilet, taking deep breaths like John always told him to do,  
"Hamilton?" He heard a southern drawl ask, and he went dead silent. He really did not want to deal with this asshole right now. "Look Hamilton, I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I know Laurens isn’t around to help." The voice said. Alex rolled his eyes. "Jefferson, why are you really here? To see me at my weakest?" He spat back at Jefferson. Jefferson sighed. "No I'm not here to see you break down. I honestly just wanted to make you feel better." Alex scoffed. "I don't want your pity, I want your absence." Thomas went quiet. Alex heard a gentle "Ouch", then shuffling of shoes walking away. Alex immediately felt guilt. What if Jefferson actually did just want to help him?  
Alex slowly emerged from the stall and ducked his head out of the bathroom. He saw the bouncy Afro of Thomas's hair, looking slightly deflated. "Jefferson!" Alex softly shouted. Thomas turned around and stared at him. Alex nodded slightly. "Thank you... for the offer." He said, mustering what little courage he could to thank the other boy. Despite how much he hated Jefferson, he had to admit, he had a nice edge to him when he wanted to. Jefferson smiled, and nodded back. "Don’t think I'm going to go easy on you today in debate club because of this. You're going down." He said before turning around and walking back into the classroom. Alex smiled a little at that remark. Everything was going to be okay. 

 

Prompt 4: We're designed to be disposable  
John watched as Alex dipped a fry into his ketchup. He barely touched any of his food when the group went out to their usual Friday-night burger joint. John tried to listen to Alex, but he just stared out the window. Why he was so sad, he did not know. He just knew he wanted to be anywhere but here. "So that's when I said, If you're going to dispose of that, at least dispose of yourself too Jefferson!" The table roared with Hercules and Lafayette's laughter, but John remained quiet. "we're designed to be disposable..." He said quietly, not realizing he had caught the attention of the other three. They looked at him confused, Alex concerned. He tried to laugh it off. "I mean, Jefferson is literal trash, right?" He said unconvincingly, until he finally stopped trying to force the laughter. He sighed. "I think I'm just going to go home."  
"Babe, you okay?" Alex asked, placing a hand on John's arm. John moved Alex's hand off his arm. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired." He said, as he got up to go back to their apartment. "I'll see you when you get home." He started walking back in the cold. He was carrying his jacket instead of wearing it. The cold helped him to not feel so numb. Why did he feel like this? It had been almost a year since his last relapse, he had been dating Alex since senior year of high school, he had a job, a boyfriend, a nice apartment in New York. As far as anyone was concerned, he had it made. So why did he feel the uncontrollable urge to rip his skin open? To throw away everything he tried so hard to fight for?  
He made it back to the apartment, not bothering to turn the lights on. He sat on the edge of the bed, his hands squeezing the sides of his head. He tried to stop the voices, telling him of his worthlessness, of his mistakes. What felt like hours passed, and when he finally was aware again, he was on the bathroom floor, hearing Alex call his name and rush through the apartment. He knew he had messed up when Alex turned on the light and looked like he was about to start sobbing.  
"John.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow I'm a bitch. Prompt 4 will be continued with prompt 5! Yell at me in the comments and on tumblr, @zip-kicks!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post 2 chapters in one night because I felt bad about leaving prompt 4 like that. Sorry if these are shorter and not as great, it was pretty late when I wrote them.  
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: For implied self-harm, depression. Stay safe friends

Prompt 5: There's blood on my/your hands  
"John.." Alex said in disbelief, kneeling to be on eye level with the love of his life. He held his face in his hands, kissing him everywhere. "Is this why you left dinner early? Baby you should've told me..." He said, tears streaming down his face. John stared at him, then looked down. He realized what he had done. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm..." That's all he could say. He just couldn't believe he had done that. That he had given into the monsters in his head. Alex pulled him into a hug, shushing him. "baby you did nothing wrong, you're okay, shhh..." Eventually, Alex pulled away to assess the damage. While there had definitely been worse, a relapse in general was going to have it's toll on John. "There's blood on your hands." John says quietly. Alex looked down, realizing he had John's blood smeared onto his hands, most likely from when he wrapped him in a hug to comfort him. Alex dragged John to the sink, where he proceeded to try and ignore John's wincing as Alex cleaned the open wounds with first soap, then peroxide, and finally smeared antibiotic ointment on them before butterfly bandaging them and wrapping them in gauze. John stared numbly on, Alex had had to do this too many times in the past.  
Both of them changed into their pajamas, the clock blinking 2:13 am. They wrapped up in their heavy winter blanket and cuddled closely. Only then did John break. Sobs wracked his body as he released every emotion he had been feeling for the past week. Alex held him closely, at one point sobbing with him. He hated seeing his John in so much pain, all he wanted to do was place it on himself so his dear Laurens would stop being plagued by these demons. Another hour passed before John either stopped sobbing or ran out of tears, Alex could not figure out which one. He let out deep, broken breaths before he finally sunk in a unrestful sleep. Alex sighed, knowing he was not going to sleep tonight in case John needed him. John stirred slightly, blinking sleepily up at Alex.  
"What's wrong baby?" He asked, preparing to get up and grab anything his love needed. John gave him a sad smile. "Thank you. For staying by my side when I need you the most. I love you so much Alexander Hamilton." Alex smiled, tears threatening to fall again. He kissed his boyfriend passionately. "I love you so much John Laurens." 

 

Prompt 6: Could you be any louder?  
"5 in the fucking morning." Alex swore as he glanced at his phone, squinting at the brightness. The other half of his bed was empty, still slightly warm. There were loud noises coming from the kitchen, along with talking. Alex got up, wrapping a blanket around his shoulders, and ventured into the cold apartment. Alex found John in the kitchen, dancing to his favorite music, making what looked like hot chocolate. Alex wanted to be mad. He wanted to glare at John and yell at him, "Could you be any louder?", because goddamnit both of them had work in 3 hours. But he continued staring at John dance around and sing horribly and he couldn't help but smile at the idiot he loved so much. He snuck up behind John and wrapped an arm around his waist, turning him around and grabbing his other hand. John let out a small shriek before realizing who it was. He broke into a smile, and continued to hum along as Alex and him danced and spun around the kitchen table, laughing and giggling, especially when Alex stubbed his toe and swore revenge on the blasted chair that hit him.  
John poured a steaming cup of hot chocolate for both of them, and they went to the fire escape to sit outside and watch the sun rise, wrapped in Alex's blanket, cuddling and kissing until dawn started to peak through the tops of the skyscrapers for another lovely New York morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys are enjoying these! Might take a break for a few days of writing these. Follow me @zip-kicks on tumblr!


	4. Chapter 4

Prompt 7: I've never killed anyone before  
"Look Mr. Hamilton, you need to calm--" Aaron Burr, the advisor said to a frantic Alexander, on the verge of lunging across the desk to wring his neck. "Look burr, sir, I've never killed anyone before, but goddamnit you're getting very close to being my first victim--"  
"don't threaten me Mr. Hamilton--"  
"I will very well threaten you if I please! Call me Mr. Hamilton one more time--"  
"Alexander!" He heard his name roughly, but it did not come from Burr's mouth. Alex flinched slightly and turned abruptly to see who called him. His face immediately softened.  
"John? What are you doing here?" He questioned the man staring back at him. John rushed into the room. "Mr. Burr I am so sorry for his behavior, he was up all night again trying to finish a paper." Alex glared at him, crossing his arms like a child. Burr nodded slightly. "Well then, Mr. Hamilton-" Alex opened his mouth to argue before John death-gripped his arm, causing him to whine in pain and close his mouth. Burr flashed his signature smile. "I think we will just have to reschedule this meeting. Please call me when you're feeling better." And with that, Alex stormed out of the office, John hot on his heels. "What the hell John?! Why were you even there?!" He shouted once they were outside. "For your information, you aren't the only one who goes to this school! I had a meeting this morning to get situated for graduation next spring!" He screamed back. Alex flushed, anger burning in his eyes.  
"John you had no right to barge in there-"  
"Alex you were about to lunge across the desk and strangle him-"  
"Hell yes I was! He was-"  
"I don't care what he was doing! He works at the school, you can't just hit someone because they don't agree with you!" He screamed at full volume, causing Alex to go silent. John, while he did get annoyed with him, never screamed at him like that. "You are always getting into fights, if they don't agree with you, they're wrong. You can't survive in this world thinking you are the only one with the right opinion. You need to be open to other ideas. Someday I may not be there to save you or stop you from doing something idiotic, and you'll have to answer for your actions." That hit home with Alex. Knowing that John could not always fix his messes. He looked at his beat up sneakers, kicking a cigarette butt on the ground. "You're right... I'm sorry John." He saw John physically soften, and watched him step toward him and engulf him in a hug.  
"I didn't mean to yell at you. I just don't want you to get hurt." Alex hugged him back. "I know. I'll try harder to not get into fights." He took John's hand and started walking toward their dorm room. "But Jefferson doesn't count."  
"Oh never, you know I'd never miss a fight between you and Jefferson." 

 

Prompt 8: Your eyes shine brighter than the stars  
A/N: So originally this prompt was Your smile isn't as bright as it used to be. But I was having a really hard time coming up with a good fic for it and this one has been circling in my head and it's KINDA the same theme so I'm sticking with it.  
Alex giggled as the wagon rocked back and forth. It was spring break, and John and Alex's 3 year anniversary. John had decided to go all out for this anniversary, especially since they were graduating in just a few short months. He had bought them tickets to the Badlands in South Dakota. Alex had never been outside of New York City minus growing up in Nevis, and even then he said the town was always bustling with activity. From the first steps off the plane, John knew this trip was going to be amazing. They had met up with their tour guide and the other people on the trip, driving from the nearest airport to their small rustic hotel. It was old, sitting in the middle of a small town that seemed to have aged gracefully. It was perfect. They had spent two days in the town exploring, digging for gold and gems, and finally boarded an old fashion covered wagon to head to the middle of the Badlands themselves.  
John wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, kissing his temple. Alex stared at everything with awe. The tall rocks with red stripes made him wide-eyed, the herd of buffalo made him smile brightly, and even with the heat blistering hot and both of them sweating profusely, Alex had never seemed to be happier. They arrived in a small clearing after about 2 hours, and began to set up camp. The tour guides had tents for each family, and helped them pitch it so it would not fall on them. They sat under a single tree in the middle of the field, Alex sipping cold water from a nearby spring at John's request.  
"Your heat exhaustion is only going to get worse baby." He said, pressing damp clothes onto Alex's warm skin. He had stopped sweating and was more tired than normal, which was hard for Alexander. John recognized the symptoms immediately and moved him to the shade before it progressed any further. Alex leaned into his touch and began drifting off, sleeping for a few hours before waking up to the smell of roasting hot dogs. Before long they had watched a magnificent sunset and had gone to bed.  
John woke up, the darkness outside wrapping itself around the tent. He stretched and turned over to grab Alex's waist. Except there wasn't a waist to grab. John sat up as his eyes adjusted. Alex's sleeping bag was empty. Pulling on a shirt, he went outside, carrying a flashlight in case. He spotted Alex near the tree where they were before. He made his way up the small hill. As he got closer, he saw that Alex was looking at the sky, tears in his eyes.  
"Alex, baby girl, what's wrong?" John asked, concern filling him. He sat down next to Alex and pulled him into his side. Alex let out a small sigh. "The stars... They're so bright. You never see stars in New York, even during power outages. And I never saw them in Nevis. They're so clear here, you can see them for miles and miles..." He continued to ramble, tears falling. "I just can't get over it... They're just so gorgeous John. How can something so beautiful exist in this world?" John felt himself fall in love all over again. He felt like he was looking at the most beautiful thing, well, person, in the world. He leaned down and whispered into Alex's ear.  
"Your eyes shine brighter than any star I have ever seen." He said, pressing a small kiss into Alex's jaw near his ear. And it was true. Nothing beat the passion in Alex's eyes, or the smile on his face. John did not try to pull Alex's eyes from the sky. He did not want to ruin this moment for him. So he shifted them until they were on the ground, Alex's head on John's chest, and they watched the stars spin above them until they saw the purple and pink rays of sunrise peaking above the mountain tops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So prompt 8 is actually a true story of when I went to Badlands when I was about 5. The stars are so bright there... I wish so badly to go back. I figured after the last chapter I better keep the angst to a minimum. Hope you enjoyed, come bother me on tumblr, I'm zip-kicks!


End file.
